Not Small Things

Last week we looked back to the movies and female characters who helped shaped the way we see the world women inhabit…and could inhabit. It was a great reminder that pop culture can play a significant role in influencing people’s lives. So is it crazy to think the reverse is possible - that the recipients of such influence could turn around and be creators? We don’t think so. If you’re an avid listener you might have noticed that every once in a while we pitch ideas into the universe - things we’d love to see on stage, screen, the telly or our laptop. And a few times we couldn’t help but feel our ideas have manifested (hello, “Worn Stories” on Netflix!). Plus…more women creators please! That’s definitely a Not Small Thing.We’re women of action, so while we could wait around for Netflix to realize that we’re brilliant, creative, and have our fingers on the pulse of the entertainment-watching public so we should definitely be in charge of programming, we decided to just pitch and see. And we couldn’t do this one alone, so our special guest is storyteller, illustrator, and uber creative genius Amy Ignatow - whose name you might recognize as co-creator of the infamous “Shut up Geoff” mug! And boy do we have you covered in this episode. We warm up by sharing (or in some cases oversharing) some of our current faves, so if you need reccos on what to watch, we have the reccos. Then we move on to an epic pitch session that surely will get us showrunner gigs. We’re only one idea away from glory!Warning, things get weird. That’s an Ignatow special!

Awards season is officially behind us, and while both of us did a lousy job of keeping up this past year, we couldn’t help but stop and ponder the role movies have played in each of our lives. During our formative years we were lucky to see women portrayed as adventurers, saviors, leaders, risk-takers, barrier-breakers, and survivors. We saw ourselves as the funniest of friends, the nurturing mother, the fed up wife, a different kind of boss, a cool rider, young girls searching for home, or as the woman putting the men around them in their place. We saw the characteristics we hoped to one day embody ourselves - smart, driven, capable, unapologetic, complex, funny, and uncompromising. (Oh, and able to carry a tune and dance). And just as importantly we saw what we didn’t want for our own lives. In this episode we travel back to the movies and female characters who helped shaped the way we see the world women inhabit…and could inhabit. It’s a conversation about why representation matters and how important it is to see yourself, your choices, and your dreams portrayed and validated for all to see. Which naturally leads to a conversation about how long it has taken for movies to tell more diverse stories, and how we owe it to our sisters to take in those stories and see their worlds as important as our own. We mention no fewer than thirty movies and talk at length about many of them. Head over to the episode page and enjoy the trailers and/or special treats from the ones that were super-formative and made up the bulk of our conversation.

In part one, we covered the mind-body connection through lots of angles with the help of  Dr. Dan Ratner, a psychologist who specializes in the alleviation of physical symptoms deriving from, or exacerbated by, psychological causes.  In part two, we expand on the variety emotional circumstances that can create physical illness - from childhood experiences through generational and collective trauma. We also spend some time talking about the signs you might be experiencing physical pain or illness due to anxiety or trauma, the importance of safety during healing, and finding the right fit for therapy. We hope this episode gives you some practical information and ideas for what to do next if you’re experiencing this kind of pain. But bigger than that, we hope our experiences show that you can overcome hard things - or in the words of our guest feel “bravely hopeful in a world where cynicism is revered.” Like our previous episode, trigger warnings abound in this episode about chronic pain, grief and trauma from violence. Be kind to yourself and listen with extreme care.Discussed in this episode:Molecules of Emotion by Candace PertMore information on the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study

For the first episode of our “Not All in Your Head” series, we each shared the many ways our anxiety, trauma and physical health keeps crashing into the other. While our individual sources of emotional pain may be different, we’ve both experienced the same type of physical manifestation as a result. We heard from many of you that this episode hit a nerve and meant a lot to you. So in this episode we even dig deeper into the science behind the mind-body connection - what’s the biggest misconception about this subject, why don’t more people understand it, what do we know with certainty, and what does a positive therapeutic experience look like? We’re joined by a very special guest, Dr. Dan Ratner, a psychologist who specializes in the alleviation of physical symptoms deriving from, or exacerbated by, psychological causes. He’s also the host of his own podcast, Crushing Doubt. We honestly could have talked to Dan for hours about this subject, which is exactly how we ended up turning this into a two-parter. Like our previous episode, trigger warnings abound in this episode about chronic pain, grief and trauma from violence. Be kind to yourself and listen with extreme care.Discussed in this episode:Healing Back Pain: The Mind-Body Connection, by Dr. John Sarno

We’ve all had this experience - sitting in a room, listening to another person share their personal story and being emotionally moved. Words matter. They can create deep empathy, inspire action, or speak directly to a part of us that has been hidden but is begging to be acknowledged. And when each of us finds a way to tell those hidden stories, or say the hardest things, we give others the gift of knowing none of us is alone. The journey of finding and then actually using your voice though? That’s truly a Not Small Thing. Both of us have experienced this journey ourselves - testing the waters to build our comfort levels and confidence, confronting our fears about public speaking, to actually letting our guard down and sharing our stories to rooms full of strangers. And we found that it’s just as rewarding to share as it is to listen. It was actually profoundly liberating. You might be thinking to yourself that you’d love to speak out, whether at work, with your family, or to the world, but doubt you could ever have the guts. In this episode we talk about the fear of speaking up and sharing our difficult experiences, how other people’s perceptions of us is a “them” problem not an “us” problem and get some good advice on how to shift your thinking about what “good speaking” is or if it even exists.We’re joined by two superstar coaches, Casey Erin Clark and Julie Fogh, the co-founders of Vital Voice Training. They are on a mission to change how we talk to each other, how we really listen, and how we collaborate. They believe that claiming and using your voice can change the world, and we couldn’t agree more. We hope it inspires you to think about how your story might be exactly the thing we need to hear.

A wise philosopher (okay Madonna) once sang it best…music makes the people come together. Inspired by a recent social media questionnaire, Dara’s love of list making and a desire to create a series of superlative episodes, in this episode we spend some time reminiscing about our favorite live music performances of the past, the cringeworthy, the nostalgic, and what we can’t wait to see in the future. We talk about the Not Small Thing of remembering our parents through their music, connecting with friends, and seeing our musical heroes up close and personal. To saying nothing of the Not Small Thing that is a sense of joy…something we’re most definitely looking forward to experiencing more of. And dancing. We can’t wait to dance.We’re joined by a special guest - Leslie Hermelin who has spent her career as a music publicist, and now works at the intersection of live music and advocacy. Leslie previously worked to register Texas voters with Beto O’Rourke at the Buffalo Tree Festival. She now works with the National and New York Independent Venue Associations on the Save Our Stages initiative which resulted in 1billion in federal Covid Relief funding for the arts in December 2020.Be sure to visit our episode page for questions we needed to cut for time and videos of the music we wanted to share with you! Lots of great stuff to enjoy and new bands to discover!

It’s no secret (or surprise) that a global pandemic would create anxiety - we’re only human after all. But the ways in which people have been experiencing that anxiety varies a great deal, including the unexpected anxiety setting in as people contemplate finding their way back to “normal.” This has been a somewhat new experience for many people, but for the both of us the pandemic is one incident among many when our anxiety over physical health has crashed into the other, and vice versa. This episode is the first in a series about how our emotional and physical health are interconnected. To start, we both open up and share how the pandemic has individually impacted our health, our own histories with this topic, and the shame and frustration that comes along with it. We hope in talking about our experiences, we can be a part of normalizing these struggles.Trigger warnings abound in this episode about grief, childbirth, and trauma from violence. Be kind to yourself and listen with extreme care.Discussed in this episode, and worth way more attention:We reference this a few times, but as difficult as our own stories are, as white women we have enormous privilege when it comes to all forms of healthcare. Please take a moment and learn about the efforts at Loveland Foundation which supports the healing of women of color, and especially Black women and girls. If you’re so moved, please donate to their therapy fund.

A scavenger hunt. An escape from real life. Me time. A means of exploration. Pure convenience and simplicity. Online shopping is a wormhole unto itself for so many reasons. In this episode we examine what shopping, in general, has meant to us historically as a way to bond socially and to experience pleasurable things - to how life’s changes, growing up, and the pandemic has altered our relationship to this everyday activity. For such a seemingly simple topic, we cover a surprising range of emotions about things we miss from actually going someplace to find clothes with our friends, poignant family memories, reflections on how our consumption has given us insight about stages of our life long gone, and the tension between the practical and indulgent. And of course, we reveal some of our favorite (and maybe absurd) pandemic purchases. Check out the episode page on the Not Small Things website for links to places and things we discussed.

We don’t know about y’all, but we needed something light and fun this week. A palate cleanser if you will - after all, stopping to appreciate something just for pleasure is definitely a Not Small Thing. It’s Golden Globes week, and while this year’s ceremony will look decidedly different, we still couldn’t help but crave some red carpet action. In this episode we talk about what it feels like and means to find your style and own it, how we each have observed the red carpet evolve over the decades (yes…decades), how beauty standards have become less rigid and more inclusive…and of course we talk about a lot of gowns that stand out in our memories. From our G.O.A.T and F.O.A.T choices, defending some controversial moments, waxing poetically about our favorite designers and an epic tangent that…well you’ll just have to hear for yourself but we believe to be our finest work thus far in the podcasting arts and sciences, so stick with us until the end. This episode may be like a dress with a very long train, but it’s extra packed with laughs. And while you listen, be sure to follow along with our fashion slideshow on our website!

Here’s a Not Small Thing…knowing what we value, and living our lives in alignment with those values. This is easier said than done because that can mean seeing that we need to do something differently. As humans we like patterns and we like fitting in, so even a small change to the established can feel NOT so small. And women particularly have been raised to be keenly aware of our place in the world, of our own limits, to be peacekeepers first and foremost, and maybe fear change or giving up a sense of security. For almost a year, our lives have gotten more concentrated. It’s harder to ignore the things that aren’t in sync. We see a lot of women recognizing that something needs to change, and yet not knowing what that even means or where to start. Something that we underappreciate is how completely normal it is to not know how to do any of this - and that it’s ok for it to be messy. We’re joined by Elizabeth Knell, a Conscious Change Coach who went through her own process of aligning her life and values, and now runs her own company Go From There. We learn how even small actions can have big impact, the importance of tuning out exterior and interior noise, and what it means to value yourself and your own life.Be sure to check out this episode's page to request a helpful values and action worksheet provided by Elizabeth - it's a great, first small step towards change.  And late breaking news, we got gremlin mugs, inspired by the conversation about quieting your inner critic! (psst, when you get to Zazzle, you need to sign in).

In this episode, we talk about the Not Small Things we have learned from spending so much of the last 5 years on Facebook. We’ve both watched “The Social Dilemma” and know the problems with Facebook are legion, but there’s been a lot of good that came out of Facebook, too. Especially for us personally. We’re joined by Rachel Happe, Co-Founder of The Community Roundtable and a thought leader on online communities, to chat about the good, bad and ugly of Facebook: what has enhanced our lives, what has horrified us, what has made us laugh, what worries us the most, and what do we think our relationship with Facebook looks like going forward.Head to our episode page for links to things we discussed and some tips on creating intention around social media usage.

For our first episode we talk about the not small things about this historic moment in time: things that were quietly groundbreaking about the way Joe Biden and Kamala Harris ran for office, things that have stuck with us from the Inauguration and beyond, the (not so) small things that have kept us going for four+ years, the things we hope to never talk about or see again — and finally the one thing we’re looking forward to the most.