hello beautiful people I've I'm in so much pain I've had to stay in bed Beyond get up and have coffee time but the butler is here so the butler's bringing me coffee thank goodness um now the reason I'm in a bit of pain is because it's my own fault I've done it to myself I've just released a single and I've been engrossed absolutely engrossed in this in the recording studio for two days but I'm so thrilled with this new single and that it actually made me cry because of the lyrics the lyrics are about how the machine which is the internet has taken over lives and you know is destroying life for all of us who have become nothing in in the onslaught of the digitized universe so I really felt quite emotionally involved with it it was amazing this is a wonderful thing about music it can make you cry um you know if it's impassioned especially but also you know if you if you create it yourself however you're creating it I'm sure if you were a drummer you could cry over banging a drum you know never underestimate the power of making music let alone listening to it so I was really really um engrossed in getting this right and making my singers sound just as I wanted them to making the whole band come together we've actually released two tracks from the same episode or it's an episode of immersion which is my immersive book so you can listen to music so do you know what it I've actually created a musical that's what I've done I've created a musical um I've tried to you know include lots of three-dimensional things and it hasn't really worked it didn't really pay off whereas the music you know that's where I get most of my art out there you know making the videos and stuff and and people are engaging with it more and more so the music is almost more important than the storyline and yet the music is the storyline do you see and that's kind of what a musical is I suppose but you know you're not going to get grease or Glee or anything like that um it's a very alternative musical very experimental anyway I I did something different this time around I don't normally start with the drums per se I mean I might start with a drum rhythm and then you know take the rest of the tune from there if you like but I started with the drum section as a four part actually it was about eight parts eight parts of various orchestral drum sections and um and then the digital drums as well so I I think I I had four digital drum kits and then I had about I don't know there must have about six or eight um bits of Orchestra so the timpani and all these you know big bass drums and what have you and it was so I did all that and that took a day and it was so exciting and so enthralling I hadn't cried at this moment but I I found it so incredibly rousing and I just think you know there's something there is something in me that really responds very very well to a passionate rhythm and I'm not saying I want to be a drummer but I may have missed my calling now I'm sure I haven't I'm a cellist of course I am an appearance but I did find and I do find that dance music offers me this opportunity to really embrace the drum section because you know most human beings respond to dance tracks and it's because of this um kind of regulated persistent Rhythm and beat and I find it very it I won't lie it's charging in a sensual manner and the central drum you know and it can be so fruitful in terms of making you feel um emotionally and physically joined if you like so suddenly your emotions become part of your body and you know this is of course this is how desire starts isn't it and I've I've talked before about the passion of music and how it can evoke desire I mean we all know that music can be scary we know we watch a horror film but not many people talk about desire and how and why that should occur um but I think there are a couple of reasons why I find this the music that I make so essential um I'm I'm a lady who has been a musician for a very very long time and that what that's led to me doing now is taking things right back to sort of almost I would say human instinct and the the rhythm is so much related to human instincts you know the blood beating the heartbeat when it gets faster when it gets louder and more intensified all these things you know they point to an almost um erotic experience do you know what I mean I mean I don't know if you do because I'm probably just a mad musician talking about this but I really feel that so I found the drum tracks so rousing that I felt I had to release those on their own as a separate entity and so that's already gone off and that's called minor matter percussion and this single that I've just sent off today I'm going to play it for you actually is just called monomata and so I'd had my drum bit and which was making me feel very charged and passionate and um you know it's otherworldly almost and then I wrote the lyrics and I'd had this idea of minor matter because I realized that I'm completely irrelevant in the universe and I've come to accept that now I mean it's not great is it knowing that you're worthless bunch of atoms who have never really done much and um who know I'm really no one really cares about I mean you know your immediate family might care about you but once you're gone you're gone in a puff of smoke or or however you you know your end cometh and I was sort of you know under the realization that you know this comes to us all and I think accepting it is it's very hard on us I think you for me suddenly that's happened between the age of about 50 and 60. um but I'm not ready to go yet but I'm starting to accept accept that I will you see so this nothing you know this idea that you know I'm immaterial you are actually immaterial and we get so upset don't we get upset I'm always getting upset if I you know when my when my kids hated me I got very upset about that and told me I was a terrible parent I got very upset about that because I thought my my only worth in life was was to um you know or or what I felt was my only purpose in life was to reproduce and then to find out that it was yeah I'd really you know effed up royally and uh there they weren't at all happy with it I think that was really hard and lots of people have that don't they they not just about being parents although it's very very common of course mostly our kids are quite insulting about us um but you know about other things like you know say you were a bus driver um and then you you start to see your only worth in that role and if you're not very good at it that's really that's harsh isn't it that's very harsh so after a certain age when you know you realize that the procreation is over and done with and now it's time to move on and look for satisfaction elsewhere I mean that's what I've done um lots of people just give up or lots of people who are involved with their families are fine with the rest of it you know and to become grandparents and and what have you but I was I was propelled really into I've got my windows open so now that I've finished recording and I can hear I can hear people I think they might be arguing so I do apologize in the in the garden perhaps there's a domestic going on how exciting I should probably go and listen I should perhaps record it I'd probably get a copyright um thing put on me anyway I won't be too much longer because I'm going to play my track so I wrote these words about um you know being being so small minor matter but the other interesting thing is I've been a bit dry on the old uh lyric front for a good few weeks because they always take it out of me greatly the writing these songs because I get really emotionally involved in the lyric as well as the music and I went out last Friday and had half a bottle of wine with mummy and it came to me on the cycle home and this is where I write all my music on the cycle home it's I say all of it I write the nucleus of the the new you know the the embryonic um the Riff sometimes or the title or the concept I always write on my bicycle when I'm cycling after I've had a drink so this has provided me with a perfect excuse to have a drink more often so I'd be doing that again mark my words hopefully on Friday um and I I was thinking about Minor matter in my drunken stupor while I was having the binge eat after wine you know and watching The Good Wife which I watch I'm into episode I'm into three number three series three episode eight I think and there are 20 episodes and I've been watching it back to back in between writing songs and what happens is when you you're in the studio there's a lot of rendering goes on there's a lot of time you have to stop listening because you're no longer hearing you need to take a little break so that's what I've been doing we've been watching the The Good Wife in the background if you see what I mean anyway I completely forgotten what I was going to tell you now so I'd written this I got down to business writing this beautiful lyric and about Minor matter and I like the what do they call that alliteration isn't it the alliteration of um words where you you do a string of words and there they start with the same letter and they they they have sort of a literary almost like a game or a pun no it's not a pun is it but it's a poetry of its own and I I really like that minor matter minor matter minor matter minor matter and I was you know thinking about that the only way I can actually write the rest of the song the best way for me is to write the music first because I'm a musician first and a poet second so then I I I only need a drum beat and a key I don't need the whole tune to write the song so the drum beat I play in my headphones over and over again and then I write the poem and the poem has to work obviously with a drum Beach but I've done some cheating before I've I've snuck words in completely wrong timing I always always ad-lib the vocal and I always always ad-lib the piano um or improvise I suppose improvise the better wor

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