05-12-2022
Carl and the Annoying Amygdala
ADHD and anxiety have so much in common, it can be hard to tell which is causing which symptoms. Don't worry! Carl the Human and his dumb Amygdala might help you understand.
For all episodes, merch, and links to places to connect with or support Carl the Human the Podcast, visit carlthehuman.com
Notes/Credits
The Chapman University Survey of American Fears
Sound effects and music from Pixabay:
Hold music: “Cold Beat” by SergeQuadrado
Ad music: “Cotton Candy (loop version)” by viyn
Fast forward: “Fast Forward” by plasterbrain
Laugh track: “Crowd Laughing” by isohoo
Artificial Intelligence voice generated using Free TTS, Voice: en-US-Standard-D
Intro and outro music: “I Am Only Human After All” by Joe Venutis and His New Yorkers, 1930. Archive.org. Remixed by Carl the Human, 2022.
Carl used this joke from Dexter’s Laboratory, word for word: Dexter's Joke
Transcript
Carl Over intro music
Hey Neurohumans! You are listening to Carl the Human the Podcast, episode 6.
Carl After intro music
If you haven’t yet, please visit my website, carlthehuman.com for links to all episodes, extra information and notes, and ways to connect and support the show. The most important thing you can do to help me out is to subscribe and leave a rating and review.
Deep breath
Carl
Alright. I have a spreadsheet of topics I want to make episodes about and for this episode, the sheet says to talk about ADHD and anxiety. What a fascinating topic, actually. I found a lot of great resources showing the connection between the two and how to differentiate the distraction that is experienced by both.
Carl
So I decided to go all out on this one. For you special listeners out there, I have decided to tackle one of my own personal biggest fears.
Amygdala (A) starts getting Carl’s attention. Quietly at first, getting louder. Say things like “Hey” “Carl” “Stop” etc.
Carl
Naturally I have been particularly distracted the last two weeks thinking about this. I knew it was coming. I knew what format I wanted to use and I have been really excited to try it out. In these early episodes
A is now at same volume as Carl
Carl slowing down
of a podcast a host is able to try different things and make annoying mistakes. Get the kinks out before having a huge audience. It’s all about experimenting.
Pause as A continues
Carl
Wait, sorry neurohumans… Is anyone else hearing that voice? Or have I just completely lost it?
A
CARL! You are not crazy! Listen to me now!
Carl
Who are you?
A
Dur, Carl. It’s your amygdala. Don’t act like we don’t have frequent interactions.
Sound of Carl’s heart beating. A lets out a slight chuckle.
Carl
Ummm. Okay. Well, if you are literally my brain then you know I am in the middle of something that is a little bit difficult. You know how much time I have put into this and how long it has taken me to get in the zone to articulate this in front of a microphone.
A
Oh sure. By all means, Carl. I can hear your heart pounding and it feels like your breath is getting a little heavy. Are you sure you can talk about this?
Carl
Yeah. I just. I need to get back in the right mindset here.
Deep breath
Carl
Alright, I’m back, Neurohumans. Sorry if that was a little weird. I have never talked to my amygdala before. I must be losing it. Anyway, where was I?
Shuffling papers
Carl
Oh, right. I decided, for you special listeners out there, to tackle one of my own biggest fears. It all started in elementary school. As I mentioned in the last episode…
Forcefully
A
CARL! STOP NOW!
Carl
What? Let me record my podcast.
A
There is this other thing we need to do right now. We need to ……
Uncomfortable pause
Carl
We need to stay focused on recording here. I have a deadline, Amygdala.
A
Remember that project you told your wife you would get done? Let’s go work on that. I mean, think about it this way. Would you rather keep some arbitrary deadline that you made yourself? Or do something for your wife?
Carl
Well. I do have a deadline. My wife knows I am trying to make this a thing, so she will understand that I have to spend time on it.
A
Right. But so far you have around 20 listeners on a GOOD week. They aren’t giving you tons of feedback. You don’t know anything that they like or don’t like about what you are doing. Your wife though… She will be happy and give you a big hug. Happy wife, happy life, right?
Carl
Good point. I guess I deserve a break. I wrote an entire script for this episode, which is a lot of work all by itself. Usually I just have an outline, a few notes, and maybe two or three actual scripted lines.
A
Yeah! Let’s go, Carl!
Walking upstairs to the garage
Please Hold 1
Hold music
Fast forward sound
A
This is great. Out here in the garage, getting dirty, taking stuff apart and putting it together again. You’re so manly, Carl.
Carl
Oh man, this does feel good, Amygdala. Look, I have this four wheeler I need to put back together. I have had the part I need for months but it’s a big project. I guess I should start there.
Please Hold 2
Hold music
Fast forward sound
A
Tell another one!
Carl
Okay, just one more. A physics professor and his assistant were working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions when all of a sudden the assistant says, wait professor what if the salicylic acids don't accept the hydroxyl ion? And the professor responds, that's no hydroxyl ion, that's my wife!
Laugh track
Fast forward sound
Return to Show
Carl
Wait a minute. I’ve been out here for like six hours and I still haven’t done anything.
A
I know! Isn’t it great? We are just here having fun, listening to music, not being scared of anything. I love it.
Carl
No! Not great!
Heavy sigh
Carl
This is why you don’t have any friends, Amygdala! Come on! I should have had this whole podcast episode recorded in an hour then another couple of hours for the heavy editing I want to do! Now I’m in the GARAGE surrounded by a mess of unfinished projects and I still need to record my PODCAST EPISODE!
A
Wait, Carl. I can explain.
Carl
No. There’s nothing to explain. You’re lucky I can’t just get rid of you. I can’t stand having you around.
Walking back to recording studio
Deep breath
Carl
Sorry, Neurohumans, I’m back. I promise I dealt with my stupid amygdala. It’s still with me, but we had a nice chat and it won’t bother us any more.
Shuffling papers
Carl
I can’t believe I’m STILL trying to record the intro to this episode. Good thing I marked my spot.
Clears throat
Carl
I decided, for you special listeners out there, to tackle one of my own biggest fears. It all started in elementary school. As my guest Young Carl mentioned in the last episode, I never had a lot of friends.
A whispering
Carl thinks he’s in charge. I’ll show him.
Heavy heartbeat
Carl
So how was it that I became absolutely terrified of…
Heavy breathing
Carl
Hang on folks. I just can’t catch my breath.
A
I will not let you do this, Carl. It’s too scary and too dangerous. It is literally my job to keep you from doing stupid things and getting killed by scary monsters.
Carl
Come on. It’s not a monster. I am just admitting that I am afraid of something. Do you really think people will believe that I’m not afraid of things? Or that they will listen to me talk about anxiety like I have never been scared? Besides, there is nothing about this that is going to kill me.
A
Okay, maybe death is too easy. This monster here is worse than any death. Once you put your fear out there on a podcast you don’t have control over it anymore.
Carl
I don’t have control over it to begin with, Amygdala. My irrational fear of
A
DON’T SAY IT! No! Please, Carl. Just… Don’t say it.
Carl
I have to say it. My least favorite thing about fear is that the only way to overcome it is to go through it. I can’t just rationalize with you.
A
Sure you can. Here, look at this.
Papers moving
A
This is a list of the top 92 fears Americans reported to The Chapman University Survey of American Fears, Wave 8, in 2022. Just look through it and see how common this little… Thing… you are worried about really is.
Carl
Sure. Let’s see here. The number one fear is corrupt government officials. I wonder if that was even in the top ten twenty years ago. Oh hey, that reminds me of a fun fact!
A
Yes, please tell me all the fun facts you know. Let’s definitely not talk about you know what.
Carl
Wait. You’re an amygdala. I know what is going on here. You want me to run away from anything scary, don’t you? Do you even care about fun facts?
A
Of course I care about fun facts! Here’s a fun fact: it was MY idea for you to think of this fun fact. Let’s just get on with it.
Carl
Well. Okay. But don’t think I don’t know what you are up to.
Carl
It’s been a few years, but did you know that New Zealand has the least corrupt government in the world? They also have almost no venomous creatures compared to their neighbor Australia.
A
New Zealand sounds like our kind of place. I like this way of thinking. Tell me more about this wonderland down under.
Carl
Well, okay. But Neurohumans, you should know that the next minute or so is going to quickly devolve into an ad.
Fun background music
Carl
Keep listening to hear about today’s Stuff for Humans, or skip ahead until that background music stops. I’m cool either way. Back to New Zealand. Besides low government corruption, rolling green hills, and miles of beaches, a cultural quirk I stumbled upon is that you can just walk around without shoes and it’s not weird. I don’t think this is super common, but it’s just not a big deal at all if you decide to go to the mall or buy groceries and leave your shoes at home. And that is right up my alley. I keep wondering when I will show up on People of Walmart or something.
My family recently went to Disneyland, where they are famous for strict enforcement of a dress code. So I just knew ahead of this trip that I should go against my rebellious nature and conform to their rules by wearing shoes. I also knew there was no way I could survive Disneyland in regular shoes. I have a bad ankle that usually hurts after being at work where I wear quote-unquote proper footwear with raised heels, thick rigid soles, and a closed upper portion. I am middle aged and out of shape enough that I was tired and sore at the end of each Disneyland day anyway, but that ankle does so much better when I can just use my body in as natural a manner as possible. Once I get them adjusted perfectly, Xero Shoes allow me to move with a mostly natural gait AND keep the dress code police off my back.
I have owned several styles of Xero Shoes and love all of them. They have a huge selection of different styles of sandals, shoes, and boots to choose from and a style for any budget. If you want to try one of the original minimalist shoes, go to carlthehuman.com/stuff and you will find a link to Xero Shoes and other products I love and use. A portion of your purchase using that link will support Carl the Human the Podcast at no extra cost to you! Everyone wins.
Fun music fades out
A
Okay, so you want to leave the continent to be a hippie or something. Whatever. Get back to that list of top fears.
Carl
Okay, geez! What else is on here? Russia using nuclear weapons. Economic collapse. North Korea using nuclear weapons. Death of a loved one. Iran using nuclear weapons. I think some of these should just fall under the “corrupt government officials” umbrella.
A
Yeah. Government tracking of personal data. Unemployment. Terrorism. Random mass shootings. People are afraid of real things, Carl. You’re just afraid of… You know… That dumb thing that doesn’t involve death and destruction or losing your friends and way of life.
Carl
Maybe you’re right.
A
I usually am.
Carl
But hang on, amygdala. You are the one that makes me afraid of irrational things. You get and process signals from my senses before they even get presented to my consciousness. Studies suggest that without you I would be practically fearless. I know how this works. I can beat you!
A
No, I’m not irrational. I’m REALISTIC. I am the reason you are alive! What if people weren’t afraid of heights? Everyone would just be falling off cliffs. All those people who fall into the Grand Canyon? Amygdala failure. You should be thanking me right now, Carl.
Heartbeat sound
Carl
You aren’t saving me at all. You are making my life more difficult. If you would just go away and show up when I am in ACTUAL danger, that would be great. I am going to tell the world that I am afraid
Carl pauses
Fast heartbeat sound
Carl
I am afraid of
Carl pauses
Fast heartbeat sound
Fast breathing
Carl
I am afraid of
A
Don’t do it Carl! DON’T DO IT!
Carl
I am doing it, Amygdala.
Deep breaths
A
Oh, the old deep breath trick huh? You think that’s going to work, Carl? You really think I’m dumb enough to just let you run off a cliff after a few deep breaths?
Deep breaths
Regular heartbeat
A while Carl talks below, fading away
Go ahead and breathe, Carl. That’s not going to take the danger away. Yep, there you go, do some grounding things. That’s not going to stop the danger, Carl! Carl! Carl, stop! I’m trying to HELP you! Cut it out, Carl! Listen to me!
Carl
I am sitting in a chair. I see the light above me. I see the microphone in front of me. The air in this basement is cold. There is a bed behind me. I am touching the wall. I can feel the carpet under my feet.
Slow, deliberate breath
Carl
I’m relaxing my shoulders. I am opening my chest. My legs are relaxing. Nothing is going to get me and I am completely safe.
Intro music plays again
Shuffling papers
Carl
Hey Neurohumans. Welcome back to Carl the Human the Podcast. Sorry for that strange… Whatever that was. I really wanted to be vulnerable and real today and take you along while I overcame some anxiety, but I am actually out of time. It turns out the anxiety about talking about anxiety caused my ADHD to work in full force. It’s that annoying Amygdala, really. It turns out there is this really great trick to making it stop. You have to recognize first whether you are in any actual danger, then realize that your irrational brain is full of it.
Carl
Then it’s as simple as taking some deep breaths. Then focus on things that are actually around you, even if it feels silly. Just pat your head and say out loud, “I am patting my head.” Whatever you need to do to snap out of the imaginary danger your Amygdala throws out. Imagine your breaths filling you up like a balloon and relaxing your muscles as you exhale.
Outro music
Carl over music
Well, that’s all I have time for today. I hope you learned something useful. Please check out the website, carlthehuman.com and subscribe and review my podcast on whatever app you are using. Talk to you in a couple of weeks!
Carl
Oh, wait! I still have a few seconds to tell you that I am ridiculously afraid of…
Carl is cut off by the end of the episode
